5 Reasons You Are Stuck As Friends With Benefits

Originally published on FAF Magazine

Hanging out with a guy minus the relationship can be awesome (see why here). With that said, some guys can drag that along into a situationship. Guys aren’t always ready to commit, but it’s not for the reasons our female intuition leads us to think. Here are 5 REAL reasons guys aren’t ready for a serious relationship as told by the guy who told me he didn’t want to be in a relationship.

1. Goals

Guys, especially younger guys, are trying to ‘make it’ meaning they have come up with a list of personal goals for themselves, which they intend on pursuing. This list may include something as sensible as traveling abroad to something as ridiculous as following their favorite team across the country for the entire season. The point is he has goals and no one, not even a hot piece of ass, is going to get in the way of his goals.

2. Time

You’re a self-aware woman who has it all together and you are more than ready to be in relationship. News flash: he’s not! And the issue isn’t necessarily you, it’s actually your timing. Men are mono-goal-oriented; they can’t focus on more than one thing at a time. Perhaps all his energy is focused on getting that big job promotion or looking for a new place, rather than trying to woo you into being his girlfriend. But don’t hate, time will tell.

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3. Baggage

Needless to say everyone has baggage. It may be carry-on size or it may be 3 suitcases deep. Nonetheless, he has to deal with that baggage at some point. Don’t be too bummed if you popped into the picture in the middle of his healing process.

4. Sex

Sex is important. To some it’s 50% of the relationship; to others it’s less or more. Regardless of the percentage, sex is a significant factor that has us either coming back for more or keeping us from wanting to go further. If the sex is good he’s going to continue to hit you up, because hey who doesn’t love Fefe? But be realistic, no guy says to himself, “Wow! She’s such a freak in the sheets! This is the girl I want to take home to my parents!”

5. Commitment

I’ve heard just about every type of guy say it, “What if something better comes along?’ Well if he’s in a relationship, he’s screwed. So to avoid a messy situation guys decide that they’re not ready to be in a relationship.

If a guy tells you from the get-go that he does not want a relationship, don’t take it as a challenge to change him and start googling ‘How to make a Leo man fall in love’. Take his disclaimer as a sign that he respects you and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. In turn, respect that he was man enough to be honest with you. At the end of the day, a relationship isn’t something people should just jump into. Ain’t nothing wrong with being single, playing the field, or just taking it slow.

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