Why Women In Their Early 20’s Don’t Actually WANT A Boyfriend

Originally published on FAF Magazine

Love is great. No, no let me try that again. Being in love is fucking awesome! But a relationship can only blossom when you’re ready for it. But you are not ready.

Your early 20’s are intended for self-discovery, making unbelievably stupid decisions, and being a total hot mess. These escapades are based in the foundation of selfishness, which you are entitled to as a woman in her early 20’s.

Ladies, let’s look back into the past few years of your life. You’ve moved out, or maybe dealt with family crisis, or maybe lost friends. But guess who had your back the entire time? You.

You know how it is. You’re on your grind, applying to grad schools, getting promoted, or maybe moving. You’re all about you right now and it’s not a bad thing.

You are an emotionally stable person who does not need the compassion of another to get through things. You got a hold on this and you don’t exactly have the capacity to baby another human being. Let’s be honest, ladies. Having a boyfriend can be like babysitting at times.

What you really want, for the lack of better words, is a booty-call/friend with benefits. Someone to hang out with, smoke you out, wine and dine you and most importantly do you like a Weeknd song. You don’t need another person to worry about. You already have your work cut out for you while caring for your number one. 

You’re handling your business and still being there for the people who have been with you from the beginning. You don’t have the energy and time to test a new applicant on whether or not he can make it to the VIP circle.  The vacancy in your heart is currently being filled by the people who truly matter the most to you. It’s not that you’re heartless, it’s just that your heart is just preoccupied with the other loves of your life.

So you still think you want to be in relationship but have you forgotten what that entails? Jealousy, limitations, having to be mindful of a man’s feelings are just a few things a relationship will come with. This can get extremely dramatic. It’s almost cute that guys try to play it off like women are the only ones to get upset over an ignored text but that’s not always the case. Crazy recognizes crazy. When a man gets into a relationship he expects a level of attention from a woman. A woman who has the capacity to give him said excessive attention but at this point in your life, the only attention you are willing to give is to your boss, your doctor, and your nephew. It’s not fair to get in a relationship if you’re both not ready for it.

If you’re still not convinced that you don’t want a boyfriend, remember what it’s like to be a girlfriend. Remember how fun social media stalking was? How about putting on a face during family dinners? And did you forget that time you lost the vicious battle of the bromance?

Here’s a word to the wise: being single doesn’t mean being alone and it also doesn’t mean living a dry life. But always remember to put your boy toys back in their place when you’re done playing with them. I mean, sure they’re fun to look at, hang out with, make out with, even take home but boyfriend? Ain’t nobody got time for that!



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