Guys In A Bar On The 9 Things They Wish Girls Knew

Originally published on FAF Magazine

(Sam Howzit/flickr)
(Sam Howzit/flickr)

A few weekends ago, I stumbled into a friend at a bar with a bunch of his boys. They were pretty intoxicated and particularly talkative, so I busted out my voice recorder and got the inside scoop on what goes on in the mind of the average dude hanging out in the bar.

1. How can a girl grab your attention at the bar?

What a girl is wearing is everything. You can’t really say that there’s a set outfit every girl would look good in. Let’s say you look grade A in a skirt but you also look grade A in some jeans, put on them jeans. If I see a girl dressed in jeans and still looking sexy, it signals to me that she’s probably not a hoe. Plus when a girl is dressed down, I can tell she’s either here only because she was forced to go out or she knows that she doesn’t need to compete with other girls.

2. So, how do we get a guy to come talk to us?

Smile!!! Guys are hella weak, just smile at us. Pay us some attention so we know that you’re actually interested.

3. Now we’re talking, so how do we keep that up?

If I’ve been talking to a girl for two/three weeks, she’s into me, but we’re not official; and she’s still going out, I’m done. She’s still in ‘going out’ mode and talking to dudes, I’m going to think you’re a hoe.

4. In regards to sex, what is considered acceptable and unacceptable?

If you’ve fucked two guys in one month, there’s something wrong with you. That’s some hoe shit. Mind you, we can sleep together the first night and still last 7 years after that. Believe it or not, all guys do want to be with just one girl.

5. So after the sex, what happens?

Just don’t be annoying after we sleep with you. It’s usually after we sleep with a girl, when she starts to get annoying. ‘You didn’t reply to my text’ or sending question marks after you asked us a question, SO annoying. We see your damn text, and you know we’ve seen it. We don’t want that question mark or dot dot dot, don’t do that. You’re crowding me.

6. What else is annoying?

Girls who want to talk on the phone too much, too often. It’s cool if you’re calling to say ‘how’s your day?’ and asking to kick it, but elongating it and having silences here and there is annoying.

7. What if a girl is tripping because she thinks you’re creeping?

When a girl bugs out when you go out, that’s pure insecurity and it’s not hot. If you’ve never caught your man screwing around then you need to relax. Its bad to say, but I’ve never felt bad cheating on my ex; however, I would feel bad cheating on my current girlfriend. If you’re in the right relationship, you’re not going to cheat.

8. What about guys being insecure about their girl going out?

If you call this chick ‘my girl’ it doesn’t matter if she’s out with a hundred dudes. That’s your girl! You shouldn’t even think about it. But if she’s out with a bunch of dudes and you have just one doubt, you shouldn’t be calling her your girl.

 9. Last piece of advice for the ladies out there?

You never fully know someone until you’re living with them. Live with the person you think you’re in love with, and then you’ll know for sure if you really want to be with them.



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